On first look

The heart sighed,
it stopped for a minute,
as you walked in,
filling that dingy room with your presence.


I looked up,
not figuring what to say or what to feel!
could it be,
that you are for real!


My eyes saw so much, in you,
all in a matter of minutes and seconds,
an unknown sentiment transpired,
is that what you call the crazy-'love at first sight'


I wonder if I've ever crossed your mind,
for me it happens all the time,
like a whiff of your presence,
just lingering on!


So many faces I encounter,
each day,each week,
but you just stay on,
like some business unfinished.


Everytime I see you,
I end up in mumbles and jumbles,
and you know it,don't you?
that everything around stops when you are around!


My words can never do justice,
to even begin to say what it is,
that I do long for a glimpse so much,
but can't muster up the courage enough!


Yes,crazy is the idea,
of love at first sight,
whoever felt it,
Must have felt just the same!!

My way!

I feel like I am looking at Life out of this small window,
there's so much out there,
I want to travel like a voyageur,
I want to discover myself like never before

have a lot left to fulfill,
a lot left to experience and regret the same!
A lot left to feel,
And a lot left to understand yet!

It feels like life has just started out,
As simple as it seems not to me,
As thrilling and insane it is.

I want to leap,
I want to jump,
As high as it gets,
Then hit back down to ground as it should be.

But I want to wake up one day
to my own path,
carved and sculpted by me,

The chance that I took,
the life that I want to live,
Is one of no regrets,of adventures and my decisions!


I will walk the path and mark it with my mistakes,
my failures and success,
It will be my path!

Beholding the Rains!!

So,I stay in India,where the monsoons are a separate season altogether!It just keeps raining every now and then and like cats and dogs at time.For instance-the 26/07 rains were horrid,it was a deluge,it was unimaginable.But when you get to think about it,the reason for that mishap was not the poor rains,it was because of the lack of our country to handle it!

Anyways,this is not what the post is about!It is about Rains and the monsoons!The way everything turns lush green when it starts dripping,how every bird seems to sing and dance when its pouring!Not to mention,what happens to the heart during this season is beyond word!Yes I am getting all mushy over here,but you can't blame me,its the weather!!

Like every bollywood movie has always taught us,Rains are a symbol of romance and love being in the air!Just the pleasant breeze and the drizzles or sometimes even the heavy showers are so breathtakingly beautiful!They make for good long walks along the shores!Its just the atmosphere that brings out the hopeless romantic in me,I guess.A tub of hot popcorn and a sweet rom-com is the perfect concoction to enjoy the true warmth of the rains; or just a really really long walk with hot yummy corn on the cob,does the trick!

I find this weather a great time for introspection and self searching as well!As a kid,I used to just keep staring out of the window pane and wait for the fog to accumulate only so that I could make different patterns and engrave mines and my brothers names on the window!It was like some sort of 'cool window art' for me!But as times have passed,I have grown and seen enough monsoons to know that the rains can as well relate to sadness and sorrow,just as if the skies were crying out with me,taking part of my sorrow away!

Well what to say,happiness and sorrows are like two seasons in itself,one incomplete without the other,they don't wait for anyone to come in your life and won't wait for you permission to go away as well!So till that is ever changing,the monsoons,the rains,the breeze have never changed.It's just my equation with them is a sort of hate-love types but I can't ever ignore it!

Do tell me about your hate-love experiences with The Rain God up there!Would love to hear from you!

13 and still counting.....

Somethings are just meant to happen!

It was not planned,it happened so randomly and very unexpectedly!Its been ages that I have had a great girls night out with my closest and bestest childhood friends.Since we moved on from school,everyone has moved ahead to their different callings in life and we are left with no time to catch up on!

Years have gone by and a lot has changed in everyones lives.Some bitterness,few arguments and misunderstandings may be something that may have kept us apart!But still somewhere deep down in all our hearts,we have missed each other A LOT! 

So tonight was the most unexpectedly amazing night that I had; because I caught up with all of my closest friends!We had been planning to catch up sooner or later,but everytime it just didn't happen,but last night,it just sprung out of the blue!And volia-you have six ladies dressed carelessly to have a night out on the town!We ate,we danced,we couldn't care less for all that was behind us and we also couldn't wait for what lay ahead of us!We have been through school and college now with our share of good,bad days,embarassments,mistakes,crushes and heartbreaks alike.

At times like these,it strikes to me,that we have grown and evolved with time from being stupid,senseless apes to meaningful humans and I mean that literally :D.The first time we all ever met was in school,we were only three of us;we were naive,immature,stupid and that is probably why we had pure unadulterated fun,without any worries!When we were about to finish school,we used to ask each other,where will be from now on?What will I be doing and will I ever see as much of you again?And like all girls who live in their fairytales,we swore that we would never lose touch and here we are today!We did maintain touch,a little bit here and there but on the whole 'I still get to see my besties!' isn't that maintaining the promise pretty well!!Hell,yeah it is! Because I know how much it has taken to stay in touch and it has been all worth it!

In bad times,we have all shaken and trembled bad,but had it not been for each other,we would have never stood up this strong back again!

Today everyone's mostly working or finishing off their last leg of studying,tomorrow for all you may know we maybe attending and planning one of the bestie's wedding!Time just flies...Till yesterday we were a bunch of stupid girls thinking about grades,the first crushes and chocolates for all we cared.We moved on to knowing the selfish world,being arrogant and selfish at times to knowing love,commitment and to having a companion and very soon it will be marriage on our agenda!

Starting on every stage of my life I had them if not always besides me but definitely 'always in reach' and looking back on every phase of life somethings have always stayed and that is what 'friends' are!You can fight with them,hate them,love them,abuse them,care for them,trouble them but they will always be there waiting to see what more have you got to offer!

It has been seven years since we moved on to making new friends,searching new avenues to explore and realizing that the first friends you ever make are the last ones,whom you may ever forget!There are going to be yet many more years,many more stages which we may or may not be able to handle but friends will always be there to tell you that "I am here"And so I can say-friendship is truly that one wonder drug which can make you feel high for the rest of your life!

This post goes out to all my 'besties,BFFS,or 3am friends' whatever you may call them; I have just one word for them all-MINE!We have still a lot to explore and explode too!!Hence thirteen years and still counting!! 

XOXOXO 

Love you enough...

Is it not good enough,
when I say I love you,
I can see all days and nights with you,
My entire life with you on my side!

Is it not good enough,

when I say I love you,

I want to bring out the impossible,

Just to see the sparkle in your eyes!

Is it not good enough,

when I say I love you,

I mean to share every little story,

or mischief that life may ever play on us!

Is it not good enough,

when I say I love you,

I wish for a future together,

A paradise prettier than heaven!

Is it not good enough,

when I say I love you,

I mean it with all of my heart and soul,

For what did I ever know of love,

Until I fell in love with loving you!

Break off....

Times Sqaure-the heart of New York

Drrroooolllsss....the bestest chocolate bar!

I know,I know!!I am very late in writing about my trip of 18days but what the hell,better late than never ;) Everything about this trip has been very special to me!Its my graduation gift from my family and I worked really hard to make this trip work.Setting and adjusting everyone's time schedules and setting out 18days was really tough,I must admit!There were three such particular instants when everything blew apart and the trip almost got canned,but well I didn't give up and we got there.

Best place to unwind-Central Park

Busy bustling Manhattan!!
The first few day,we were at NYC-Manhattan and I am in love with the fast paced life!Hence,I absolutely loved Manhattan!I would just walk down random streets,running and jostling like the locals but with a map in tow!I almost made my Mom and my brother walk down miles altogether because I couldn't get trapped in a cab when all the fun was out there!I thought NYC is pretty much like Mumbai,especially the fast paced life,the high end boutiques,the fun cafes and bistros all around town.Times Square is like a marvel to me,its full of glitz,glamour,so hip and spells exuburence at every corner.We went to Max Brenner's and it is THE BEST CHOCOLATE PLACE EVER!!You can smell the sweet aroma of chocolate as soon as you enter the place.It is the most innovative chocolate bar ever;everything from the chocolate shots filled up in huge syringes to the elaborate range of chocolates and truffles and bourbons on display...ahh the list is endless...its a heaven out there for us ladies!!After all nothing can satisfy a woman as much as chocolate can,right!! ;)

The Swarovski ball!

Its really wierd to me how you feel you have something related or a belonging kind of a feeling in a place where you have never ever been!But Mumbai is my first love and NYC-you are the second love for sure!!

Our trip then progressed onto a few states here and there,catching up with cousins and relatives and meeting confused desis,seeing their lives,the differences and the similarities amongst all of us!!I realized, that the saying-YOU CAN TAKE AN INDIAN OUT OF INDIA BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE THE INDIANESS OUT OF THE INDIAN!!-is so so true! :D Also.I have seen my cousins as carefree bachelors and bachelorettes;and to suddenly see them all grown up into full time moms,dads,husband and wives was so different and speechless for me!It dawned on me as well;hell am I also age into all this one day!!really freaky huhh!!

the endless ocean at Miami!

Of late I have been very confused about where to pursue my further studies-India or USA? and well I thought that this trip would help me understand but  no luck,hell I am still HIGHLY CONFUSED!
Then it was time for Miaminesss!!!After all of the catching up with my cousins and relatives,I landed up in Miami for 3days(I know too less).Mannnn!!!that place is the best place to relax,rewind,introspect and just de-stress!It was perfect for me because I was to get back to the hectic life of a Trainee Doctor ;) the minute I landed back home and Miami was so perfect to prepare me for that.In fact,I felt like I had so much time to myself to rewind and replay all the bits of my life!And it felt SOOOO GOOODDD,so much so that by the end of the three days I was determined to put in my best shot for work,but somewhere a big part of me just didn't want to leave the beach and the marvelous ocean.I would just walk along the shore,just watching the clear turquoise blue water,relaxing on the pristine white sands!For sure,the ocean is the biggest marvel of the nature!When calm,the waves help you realise that whatever goes up has to come down and get calm always just like the waves curling up on the shores!But when angry those waves can kill you!Look what the tsunami did!!Its a huge wonder and mystery to me how God got this one made!! :P
But by the end of Miami,I atleast have one dream to work on-to have an ocean facing apartment!That is my 2nd goal,the 1st one being-turning out a good polished doctor! :D
And with that,ends my 18days of fun,frolic family time!It was worth all the hard work for the lovely bitter sweet memories that we chanced upon in 18days!It also made me realise that Medicine is my first and last ultimate love,for I couldn't believe that I was missing all the "On Calls"! I was enjoying eating all my meals on time,waking up and sleeping at my own disposal;but after a few days it just didn't felt like me!Just 2months of living as a Doctor has done this to me!I guess internship just ruined me for all the fun in life ;)
So here I am back to Mumbai,the lovely monsoons,my greatest bestest friends and Medicine and to where I rightfully belong!

Can't live without you!!

I am holidaying in the land of Uncle Sam and the Big Apple,and as much as I am loving it but I feel something is amiss!It has been a week now that I am away from my routine schedule of- waking up,running late for hospital,driving and speeding,and finishing my breakfast while I reach the hospital.And as soon as I show up with the Doctor's coat and stethoscope around my neck,I am up for grabs!I have no idea how the day just goes in checking patients,prescribing,collecting blood,giving injections,making rounds,attending emergencies etc etc...its one hell of  a day and night!!This is how the past two months have been,doing my Gynaecology post.And so I yearned for a holiday!But as surprising as it sounds,I am missing it!!I miss running out of the house,speeding and reporting late,making those stupid excuses- "Maam, I was caught in traffic,or an accident had occurred which caused the traffic and my best one so far-the car's tyre got punctured (everyone buys that-you know alone girl driving in mumbai,tyres getting punctured on a highway!! ;) it's a big deal!!hahhaha) and when I have my coat and stethoscope on,the way every patient sees me its just a different thing,no one but a medico can understand the thrill of being a Doctor and the excitement and craziness around us!

I miss not being able to look at the watch for hours and hours together,because time simply flies.I miss that cribbing and grumbling about late lucnhes,no time to breathe etc etc.I miss the way we argue with the nurses and staff at times for just making us do their work,overloading us beyond human capabilities.I miss going into the Doctor's room,and when I have just closed my eyes and retiring after a long day,i hear that infamous word-INTERRRNNNNN!! and running out to attend the emergency.Then coming back and grumbling that it was definitely not an emergency.
Well,that is how crazy doctors are I think!!They hate the pressure and the stress,but can't live away from it either.I don't know how to put this in words but I SIMPLY LOVE BEING A DOCTOR!I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT,CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT THE GRUELLING AND STRESSFUL LIFE OF A MEDICO!

My TO DO list!!

Oh it's never ending!!So I think I should atleast start somewhere and somehow!These are the list of things that I plan to do in the next 15days (I am sure I going to cross the deadline)

1. Get my studying schedule right and put in atleast 6-7hours of serious studying.
2. Explore NYC to the hilt!I am so excited about my 4day trip to NYC.I will have to admit that after Mumbai,that is the city that I am madly in love with.Any tips on exploring the Big Apple are welcome :)) 
3. Capture lots of pictures of my trip to the USA!
4. Shed a few kilos.I am my perfect size right now,but just five kilos off wouldn't hurt!! ;)
5. Write more.I have somehow become very slow in coming up with my poems,blame internship for that!
6. And last but not the least,continue with my passion for day dreaming!!How else will I be able to enjoy life!!

Living it!

The roads that I have travelled,
The twists and turns accompanied,
Some seriously late U-turns I have taken,
Just walked clueless at times,


Somehow I landed up somewhere new always,
Through all those ups and downs,
Happy endings and sad equal.


At times so worse,
That the end was near,I thought,
yet with all the blessed ones around me,
I made it.


Stood up for the better,
from failures and heartbreak alike,
That's the beauty of life.


Everyday is a fight,
A battle worth the win,
Each day is a love story,
A tale ever so changing.


A melody, 
of serene and rock tunes mix!
Of a journey,
ever so changing,
Of a life,so amazingly unpredictable!!

Black v/s White

So I really have no clue on how to start!So I will just start by a random flow of my thoughts.

We all have certain likes and dislikes for people we meet in our everyday life,at work,in your extended family,some relatives,some friends,some acquaintances.With some,you can just strike the chord so easily and with the others,its really difficult to tolerate them,try what you may!

Ever wondered why,you just like somebody on the first instant and just hate someone on the first look itself?Well by the theory of karma,it is because some of them did good to you and some didn't in your past life and hence you like or dislike them respectively.

But well the logic that only fits into my head is that we all have shades of black,white and grey,it really depends on which one have you seen in that person to like or dislike him.

My course of MBBS is five and a half years long,and that's a really long time and trust me you see all the dark and good shades of a person in 5years(or that is what I believed!)

There are these group of guys in my college with whom I somehow never really got along and I was really dreading the 15days of post that I have to do with two of those guys.But surprisingly it was my 3rd day with them and we ended up enjoying so much.There was really not much work,so we were just talking and talking from 10 am to 1pm!!I really thought that I knew those guys and we have had minor fights and arguments as well,so I never really planned on enjoying with them.I thought it would be 15days of my test of endurance and patience ;)

It just makes me realize that sometimes to know a person well,a long amount of time like 5years can also be less and 5minutes may also be enough.

I think friendships can only prosper where there is no competition,all these 5years we were competing and striving to be the best,but in internship,we don't have to prove ourselves to anyone,its all on how much you want to learn and what you can grasp.

I was glad to be proved wrong today and I could understand why did we never get along because somewhere we all were engaged in the "RAT RACE"

Cheers to this Friday,the 13th as it proved good for me...I saw the white more than the black or grey for the matter of fact!:)))

A little about Reminiscent

For starters,this blog was long pending,and what better time than now as I have just started out with my internship as a Doctor and at this stage of my life,I am seeing the world in a whole different way and feeling a whole new array of emotions.This blog is going to be all about

•  Medicine and my experiences as I climb up in this field;
•  Poetry-something that 'discovered me' instead of the other way round; 
•  Music- the bestest stress buster ever!
•  Paintings and sketches- a hobby i wish I could pursue a lot more.
•  Movies -I am an absolute cinema buff.
•  Just loving life for what it's worth,after all you just have one life to live and enjoy!

Memoirs of a Medical Intern

During the four and a half years of my MBBS course that I studied through,I used to think of Internship as the best time of my MBBS journey,for it is the year where we practically do all that we have been reading about and the best part-Its the year of no exams,not a single exam.That's enough to get my spirits high.But since the day internship has started its not always been fun!Firstly,we slog like anything and secondly we are accountable for everyday,no bunks allowed!Which really reminds me of college days and I miss those bunks and blacklists!
Currently I am rotating in the Gynaecology Department in a Municipal Hospital.Personally,I never liked Gynaecology since the very first day and hence this rotation is more tough on me.Most of the patients are pregnant and in labour and ready to deliver.And by now you must have guessed that I am talking about yelling women,in a hell lot of agony!
It was one such normal day in the ward,that night,I was on a 32hour call (which really means 32hours of non stop work and if lucky 2hours of sleep is included!) It was a very hectic night that day,we were just getting emergencies all through the night.It was absolute chaos- Two ladies were delivering at one side,another two were being prepared and rushed for Caesarean Sections and another three ladies were waiting to get admitted.Amidst all this madness,I was trying to collect blood from a patient but she had bangles going right up to her elbow and to top it all,they would just not come out!That's when a woman nearby came and start breaking those glass bangles,I thanked her and she said "Madam,why are you saying Thank you,this is nothing in comparison to what you all do for us.You all are God for us when we have lost all hope,anything that we can do will always be less!Thank you for everything,for serving us!"
I was just blank for the next 5mins,I had not at all expected that.I mean these patients are really poor and illiterate too,and something so humble coming from that woman really took me aback!
My father used to always tell me that "You are in a noble profession,what you do is very different from other careers."I never got that point of his in four and a half years,I just went about doing my job considering it like any other degree or course.And that night also I was just doing my job,that lady's words just made me remember my father and it felt so good that amongst 70-80 patients that we see everyday,one person bothered to appreciate whatever little we had done!
We delivered about 15 babies that night and that lady was one of the many who delivered that night.When we were conducting those deliveries we were just doing our job,I had no clue it meant so much to even one of them.
Well Doctors are no God for sure,we just do our best and at times our erratic work schedules take a toll on us and we just don't feel like delivering our best always;at the cost of our health and personal lives,but I can say today that its worth it all.That lady unknowingly taught me a lot.Her words will always stay with me as my first tryst at being a real doctor in a patient's eyes!